lovable cynicism

Thoughts on Obsession with Jim Parsons and on Thoughts

I don’t even know what other message I most want to convey in this post beside my current obsession with the show The Big Bang Theory and Jim Parsons. I started 2 watching the show 2 weeks ago and now am caught up to the latest episodes having watched most of the episode twice. I have also cyberstalked Jim, watched most of his interviews, read reviews about his Broadway works (A Normal Heart & Harvey), downloaded tons of photos. The show is obviously big (critical acclaims and awards and >15mil views for the last episode), and Jim has won both Emmy and Golden Globe. However, he is not a big celebrity, I mean not as big as blockbuster movie stars, thus making info and news about him so scarce, though surely enough to occupy my mind in the last couple days (I have been so sick. It looks like it snowed in my room (floor covered with used tissues, ew))

The Big Bang Theory is so great. So great. It got me at minute no.2 from the pilot. I believe it’s the less rapid but more intense version of television love at first sight. <3 This post will be heck long so I won’t ramble about TBBT, I should just know that it’s great and am still following it. 

JIM PARSONSSSSSSSS, you are so amazing, and I want to get a hug from you (or creepily jump out behind you and hug you like a Teddy Bear) so badly!!!! 

Ok, it’s good to let that out (even just on Tumblr). Growing up, I never had fandoms about any movie stars or singers or television figures. I was into comics and how to maintain my sanity dealing with my psychotic family. Long story short, I never idolized anyone or have the urge to meet anyone I hadn’t already known (seriously, what was wrong with me?) And it did puzzle me to see passion in adoration and admiration for someone one doesn’t know personally. Forget all of that, I understand them all now. I’m sure over the past 4 years, I have been through many phases of idolization and admiration with many people. So many and so intense as if I was making up for the lost time. I can recall all but recently I remember Avi Kaplan, Neil Patrick Harris, and now Jim. However, it is different this time. I don’t simply just admire and adore Jim, I strongly desire to actually meet him and befriend with him. Parsons is the first celebrity ever that I actually care about meeting and would not hesitate screaming out loud, jumping up and down, and sprinting toward him to give him a hug. This feeling comes naturally but when I think about it, I do have my reasons. 

1. Sheldon. Who doesn’t love Sheldon and wants to sing Soft Kitty to him?

2. Talent. Look. Charm. … his work with Sheldon Cooper, his lips, eyes, smiles, brows, postures, Southern charm, ………….

3. Honestly, I agree with other people that Jim can come up as lackluster and soft-spoken, but that’s what I love most about him. I love Sheldon Cooper but I think I love Jim Parsons and actor even more. (I’m just talking fantasy here since I actually haven’t met the guy, but gosh, do I love him so much!!!!) It’s inevitable that I would compare Jim and Neil, both comedians on my beloved shows, both gays, both have the love for theater, … my Neil phase was also intense and long but it was surreal. I never thought of actually meeting Neil and rob a hug from him, but with Jim I do. I guess Neil intimidates me a bit, and Jim doesn’t. He appears to be more humbling, honest, sincere, straightforward, and more likely to sit down and talk to a fan. Jim’s relationship with Todd is cute and I absolutely adore the way he described it in his GLSEN speech, there couldn’t be a more simple but sweet and sincere way to describe love. I remember that I had much more to say about why Jim Parsons is my all time favorite but my head is not functioning right this instance since there’s only one hemisphere intact in there, I just sneezed the other one out, ouch. I rarely express my liking of a fictional character or public figure on the internet like this, well, I post photos and youtube videos once in a while with no captions to subtly tell my friends that if they want to get me posters or cds, they know what to do. I have not rambled about anyone until now. 

here are images that make my heart skip many beats:

ok, I have many, but I love this one best.

I meant to say something else but I sneezed the other hemisphere out already. Bye Tumblr. 

The XX is playing as a non-stop playlist. There’s not a better time to listen to them. Beautiful time with restrained love. Happy unproductive Friday, Emma.  - Cheers, enjoy the music and life as it is for now, get ready for another rock bottom in 10 days. 

When there’s no struggle, there’s no story

—Jack White

I do know America is quite addicted to fear. They’ll take it through religion if they need to …

—Jack White

Broken Thoughts

Where: Ubud, Bali

When: 36 hours away from home

What: broken thoughts

Expecting: resurrection of the mind

Currently: sipping green tea in a coffee shop while utilizing the retiring internet connection

Penestanan Kaja, Ubud, Bali, Indonesia

These are great visual from others to express exactly how much I adore that aromatic bitter black drink, what ironically both causes and cures the headaches I have nowadays. 

As much as I’ve enjoy a cup of sweetened and icy robust Robusta every morning, I started to miss my coffee habit in the states: a couple hot cups of Joe everyday (or even jugs during exam season or Extended Essay boot camp). I’ve drunk so much coffee I think it may as well be named the fluid keeping me alive. 

I love coffee for what it is, but I also love it for the people love and share it with me. Also, the people I make it for. Making coffee for other, my gesture of love. 

NO GUTS NO GLORY. 
That&#8217;s for me because right now I&#8217;m scared. I&#8217;m leaving Vietnam for Bali in less than 3 days, and I can&#8217;t be more excited. I want to get the momentum going. I feel like for the last 6 months I spent on my domestic project in Vietnam, I was standing in stagnant water. And it&#8217;s finally time to get out. My job is done, and now I&#8217;m free to go explore the world. I&#8217;m excited to board a plane again. Strangely enough, as I always thought I hated airports, I actually miss spending hours flipping pages and hearing random names called (and sometimes hysterically mispronounced, like mine). I also love reading faces at the airports. There are only certain types of emotions are displayed there, and they&#8217;re all at different ends of the branches of the spectrum of emotion. Nonetheless, there are also countless stoic faces that signal apathy to what once was the utmost desire of human beings: freedom to fly. Anyway, I just got sidetrack there, didn&#8217;t I. 
I am excited to be in Ubud, Bali. I have no interest for beaches at this time so Kuta is out of the desired map. Environmental Education is the program that I was placed for. I&#8217;m exicted to be working with the kids again. I claim not to be a big kid person because I feel so clumsy and helpless around them, their energy often outshine mine, and I don&#8217;t know how to deal with that. Teaching and working with them everyday will be a fun, energizing, and rewarding challenge. 
And finally, the people. To be honest, I am not scared of flying, of natural disasters, of not sickness abroad, but of people. I don&#8217;t know if I&#8217;m yet ready to go out there and interact with people again. I&#8217;ve been in hibernation for so long now, the sunshine from other human beings beside people in my family may burn me. This is so pathetic and hilarious that I once called myself an extrovert. I feel like the first days (I had two high schools) of high school all over again. I have no self-confidence about my appearance and my English is well very shaken after months of no verbal exercise (speaking only, I still read, listen, and write rather frequently, if not even more so in English than in Vietnamese). Also, I give exclusively bad or dreary first impressions. Now, if you don&#8217;t know me, you wouldn&#8217;t want to meet me already. See, I told you, bad and dreary. 
HOWEVER, NO GUTS NO GLORY. I can&#8217;t change certain things about myself (the way that I am still very foolishly diffident about humble appearance and inadequate verbal articulateness), I indubitably can add some GUTS to gain some more GLORY. 
And Bali, even though I&#8217;ve yet packed and felt ready. Get ready for me because I&#8217;m coming. And kids, and &#8230; people. 
Promisingly that I will be posting my own photos of Bali soon. Love and more love to tumblr and its users for giving me a place to rant tirelessly about my ordinary life of unexciting news and unadventures. Cheers, 

NO GUTS NO GLORY. 

That’s for me because right now I’m scared. I’m leaving Vietnam for Bali in less than 3 days, and I can’t be more excited. I want to get the momentum going. I feel like for the last 6 months I spent on my domestic project in Vietnam, I was standing in stagnant water. And it’s finally time to get out. My job is done, and now I’m free to go explore the world. I’m excited to board a plane again. Strangely enough, as I always thought I hated airports, I actually miss spending hours flipping pages and hearing random names called (and sometimes hysterically mispronounced, like mine). I also love reading faces at the airports. There are only certain types of emotions are displayed there, and they’re all at different ends of the branches of the spectrum of emotion. Nonetheless, there are also countless stoic faces that signal apathy to what once was the utmost desire of human beings: freedom to fly. Anyway, I just got sidetrack there, didn’t I. 

I am excited to be in Ubud, Bali. I have no interest for beaches at this time so Kuta is out of the desired map. Environmental Education is the program that I was placed for. I’m exicted to be working with the kids again. I claim not to be a big kid person because I feel so clumsy and helpless around them, their energy often outshine mine, and I don’t know how to deal with that. Teaching and working with them everyday will be a fun, energizing, and rewarding challenge. 

And finally, the people. To be honest, I am not scared of flying, of natural disasters, of not sickness abroad, but of people. I don’t know if I’m yet ready to go out there and interact with people again. I’ve been in hibernation for so long now, the sunshine from other human beings beside people in my family may burn me. This is so pathetic and hilarious that I once called myself an extrovert. I feel like the first days (I had two high schools) of high school all over again. I have no self-confidence about my appearance and my English is well very shaken after months of no verbal exercise (speaking only, I still read, listen, and write rather frequently, if not even more so in English than in Vietnamese). Also, I give exclusively bad or dreary first impressions. Now, if you don’t know me, you wouldn’t want to meet me already. See, I told you, bad and dreary. 

HOWEVER, NO GUTS NO GLORY. I can’t change certain things about myself (the way that I am still very foolishly diffident about humble appearance and inadequate verbal articulateness), I indubitably can add some GUTS to gain some more GLORY. 

And Bali, even though I’ve yet packed and felt ready. Get ready for me because I’m coming. And kids, and … people. 

Promisingly that I will be posting my own photos of Bali soon. Love and more love to tumblr and its users for giving me a place to rant tirelessly about my ordinary life of unexciting news and unadventures. Cheers, 

Industrial loft - Imgur
♥

Industrial loft - Imgur